30.05.202X - Flying Satan

 

12:50 30/05/202X 12°C

Woke up early but stayed in bed for a while. 

Ran out of journals, decided to head towards the bookst

Mishka forgot her little journal on the kitchen counter, next to the kvass.

I had no idea.

Fuck.

 

I felt a bit bad about how I treated her earlier, but now I feel like the worst scumbag on Earth.
I thought the similarities were just a coincidence.
I didn't know.

I swear to God I didn't know.

Fuck, I feel so selfish. I lost a friend, yeah, but she lost her little sister. 

 

She lost her sister. 

Can't even imagine how hard she must be beating herself up over it.

I was seconds late, she was maybe hours late.

If we wouldn't have gone to fucking Redstone this never would have happened.

God damn it. I've been avoiding that place since then, but I'm not so sure now. Maybe we could clear it out even further. Maybe we could get Mishka some closure.

I'll just have to tell her that Izzy died peacefully. Not the truth. 

Anything but the truth.

 

I remember hearing this old saying, once: "A parent should never have to bury their child."

 

They must have been really close for Mishka to write about her like that. 

 

Probably closer than to their parents.

 

fuck I hate this I hate this so goddamn much

 

 

 

It's been two months now, on the dot. Two months since the outbreak.

No help from the outside world, just jets and hovering helos and weird toxic fog.

I don't think I'll be coming home.

I don't want to bury Nat, Yuri or Monika. I still have that friendship bracelet, from way back in junior high. I've been keeping it on me, like some kind of lucky charm, and...

Well, that didn't get me very far.

Still can't muster up the courage to throw it away. I just can't.

I'm going to take a beater and drive over to Rosewood. See if there's more writing materials in the school.

Don't know who's manning the walls, don't care. 

 

I wanna get away. 

 

I wanna kill rotters and break stuff and burn down a house or something. Anything to get my mind off this shit.

 

 

 

Clear skies, guide me

Desolation rides with us

Atop a pale horse 

 

 

-Sayori Takahashi

 

 

 

 

i ffound myself
there was a corpse
it was naked
the keychain said my name
she looks like me
except she's dead and torn apart
her insides are all on the outside
just like in my nightmares

im going to

there was another corpse
i remember her as well
but i forgot her name

help

 

 

 

I buried them both.
Maybe the nightmares will stop now.

While I was in the warehouse I found a full bottle of Adderall, and something clicked.
Mishka wrote she needed some kind of medicine, something starting with "A".

I should have figured it out sooner. She's scatterbrained, burns food, seems like she would need a list written to not forget what her next duties are. ADHD?

I left the pill bottle on her bed stand, together with a note. 

It's the best I can do, for now.

Running out of space, so I think this will be goodbye, for now, at least.

-Sayori Takahashi

-INTERMISSION - DIARY OF LT. MISHKA SOKOLOV, RUSSIAN REPUBLIC ARMED FORCES

 

30/05 

 

Found Adderall, my notebook and a note on my bed from Sayori - I don't know if she's read my notes but if she has, it makes life easier for me. 

 

The note had a smiley face - I think that's a good sign? 

 

I haven't seen her today at all yet - I wonder if I can actually say something to her. 

Note said she's picked up a few books I could read on practical stuff - I'm trying to make the 'gyu-don' thing she made me yesterday - I REFUSE to let this burn!

 

Food didn't taste the same but I didn't burn it :-)

 

Can't find anyone so I decided to go out for the first time since getting here on my own- Freaked me out a bit - Haven't really seen any deadmen in Muldragh apart from the northside near the woods - still jumpy.

Working on the palisade is hard by myself - got a few more wood bits up but decided to take frustration out on the trees.

 

 

Worked on more of the palisade- Sayori really really reminds me of the academy kids - I was more focused on marksmanship than strength.

My nutrition has gotten better, I'm taking it steady with the exercise but this girl both impresses and scares me - we were building the palisade again and the amount this girl can carry is beautiful - I need to ask her what she does to work out.

A heli came overhead around 1 and is still circling an hour and a half later - Sayori had gone off to do something or other - check the generators? 

 

I don't remember - those fucking bastards fired on me - I managed to get into the storage building nearby in time.

There's no point in getting upset over it - I left for a reason and this just reminds me of why.

 

Flying satan.

 

It's nearly 6pm and I can still hear the chopper over by the palisade building site - I'm so glad Sayori wasn't around to see me when I got back to Iz's room - I don't know what happened - one minute I was just a bit spooked, the next I was on the floor bawling.

 

I ended up burying myself under the bedsheets. 

 

They smell like her still.

 

 

THEY'RE STILL CIRCLING AND IT'S NEARLY 8PM PLEASE JUST LEAVE PLEASE LEAVE 

 

Sayori's back - she's asking me about the chopper - I can still hear the damn thing but I think they've moved - I know it would be a great thing for supplies but I don't want to go near it.