26.04.202X - 08.05.202X - The First Month

Just came back from a raid, lit someone's house on fire.

Hehe~

I took some Adderall earlier, 30 mg if I remember correctly.
Either way, I feel ready to kill and burn and rape and pillage.
No sleep 'til Hammersmith, march or die!

Also "acquired" their car, a pretty nifty little sedan. Not like they need it anymore – or the house, for that matter.

27/04/202X - MULDRAUGH

I'm feeling kinda paranoid, but it might just be the amphetamines. I nicked some lamps from a storage lot earlier, gonna try to wire them to my house. I could take a crack at installing that solar panel as well, since I have the space now.

You know, what with the house extension and all.

Imagine that! I built an entire, massive second floor on top of my trailer! I just managed to get everything plastered and painted, even installed windows I pried loose from the villas nearby using my trusty crowbar, and while I didn't manage to really wire much electrical stuff in there, I still have enough power to run a few lamps, a space heater, and possibly an AC unit later.

Fingers crossed I don't blow the fuse box, though. I had to replace a lot since the previous tenants thought it would be a good idea to just use a rusty nail in place of a proper fuse.

Still, even without the space heater it's pretty comfy, I nabbed some rock wool and insulating foam from the warehouse across the street and put it to real good use.

Imagine, if you will, a burglar skulking around in the night, furtively darting from shadow to shadow just so they can hotwire a school bus, run over your mailbox and break into your home just to steal your curtains. Hehe~

I also took their wardrobe since I have SO. MANY. CLOTHES.
Got like 2 wardrobes full already but I just keep finding new stuff I want to wear on dead rotters and in the clothes shops and...

Yeah. Full to bursting.

Not to mention the crates we built outside, full of real military clothes and gear and even body armor...

I feel like I'm pretty much set for life now. Not that it's gonna stop me from grabbing new stuff I like, though. I especially like this red snapback/baseball cap/whatever that says “KY” on the front.
I've heard about it, I think it's some kind of jelly brand. Wonder how it tastes... :P

Also, the people I've been staying with are pretty nice! We're still kinda wary of each other, but that makes sense considering how bad it's gotten. I'm happy Katie got out in time, but I think she would have vibed with these two.

There's Arnold Großmann, a lumberjack from Bavaria who worked at McCoy's for years before all this happened, and then there's this punk rocker/hippie chick named Erja who's really into sustainable living, so she kinda started planting tomatoes and lettuce and everything after we got the palisade built.

I haven't asked her where she's from yet, but her accent is even thicker than mine, so probably from somewhere really far away. Also she looks kinda intimidating – not that Arnold doesn't – but the mohawk does suit her. She'd definitely attract stares back home, but then again I've rarely fit in that well either.

Arnold keeps blasting off all our shotgun ammo, though – he found a... SPAS or something like that. It's a fully automatic shotgun. Seems like overkill to me, and I think I'd just fall on my butt if I started waving that thing around like he does, but we've cleared out hordes really quickly with just me and him, and I've barely had to do anything.

He's nice, though – I ran out of Prozac a few days after I came back to Muldraugh and he seemed to just... know what I needed. Gave me a couple packs of varying strengths and just walked off. He might have smiled, I'm not sure – he wears a gas mask everywhere he goes, says he can't stand the smell. I can't say I like it either, but I just wear a medical mask, at most – sprinting with a full bag is already hard enough without having to breathe through a tube, plus I bet that thing gets super sweaty.

Still, I'm happy I didn't really have to... explain the problem, I guess. I don't really like talking about that kind of stuff, even the talk with Katie felt really uncomfortable to me, even though I knew that she understood and had gone through the exact same thing.

I was thinking I'd do my part and perform some road maintenance! Gonna drive down south to the big intersection and start taking apart the car wrecks there, see if there's anything I can salvage – or maybe some intact ones, as well! I remember seeing a yellow sporty sedan that was apparently in the middle of a tire change when the owners just up and left.

I've been trying to kind of “do my duty” and keep the roads clear, clearing out monsters and towing away or cutting apart car wrecks, but the roundabout is still a total mess.

It makes me wonder just how many people actually got caught in that mess, all of them trying to leave their own towns and then just crashing into each other and getting into fights and having to walk or get eaten by the monsters. Makes me a bit sad, honestly. I wonder if someone did this on purpose, so many of the wrecks seem burned out... maybe there was some asshole or lunatic with a bunch of grenades or “mollytovs” at the roadside who just started throwing them in there when cars started piling up... ugh.

fuckfuckfucjkkifnsd stop please just stop

I took a vvalium but it's not working yet I keep hearing that weird fucking shit everywhere I wanna

wanna kill it I want to make it


it's over

I don't like these “episodes” I get. I've started hearing weird stuff and thinking weird stuff and feeling weird and...

I just wish I didn't have to take Valium for it. I'm not a very good driver yet, and that stuff makes me even worse. Just gotta take it slow, I guess.

I'm gonna head down south soon, maybe even drive back down to Rosewood and see how the town's holding up. It's been a while since I last visited. Maybe I've missed something important.
Also need to refill these propane tanks we have, right now they're just dead weight.

ALSO also, I cooked something nice. REALLY nice. Freshly caught pike, stir-fried with daikon, spices, wild leek and soy sauce...

I pretty much soaked my pan

It was SUPER good. Wanted to leave some for the others, after the first bite I knew I couldn't. I'm a growing girl! I need all the protein I can get! >:D

At the intersection – Jesus there's a lot of cars here. I probably have half a ton of scrap and parts in the back of my van but it barely feels like I made so much as a dent.
It's burned out husks, mostly. I managed to hotwire a sleek old red-and-white muscle car that seems to be running alright, although I'm no mechanic. I took a look in the trunk after I drove it around for a few minutes (Christ, the clutch was heavy on that thing) and found a super cute dress! :D

Sadly it'll probably be a few months, at least, until I get to wear it properly, but I'll definitely take it back to Japan with me. Speaking of which, imagine how surprised everybody will be when I come home! I can drive now, so getting a license should be no problem, I can weld a bit and I can build proper houses and cut down trees and shoot the balls off a monster at 100 meters, plus I've been getting fit, like really fit.

Natsuki is gonna be so jealous, hehe~
She was already the smallest in the club, now she'll look like a little hobbit next to me – although I haven't gotten any taller... :(
Still, I can't wait to see them again, I'll have so many stories to tell! I really hope this thing blows over soon so I can go back to Japan.

I really really

I miss them

I miss them so much

"I LOVE THE SMELL OF NAPALM IN THE MORNING!"

The smell of burning rotten meat, not as much, but it does smell like victory either way.

Actually, correction: Project PIPEBOMB was a resounding failure and set fire to a lot of the underbrush here. One good thing – no major building damage, from what I can tell.

This is a bit of a hurried update since I'm kind of in the middle of the street here. Bedford Falls, if I remember correctly.
I'll have to see what I can scrounge up – more rifles and more blades, preferably. I refueled the tank-car thingy here, have to navigate it out somehow later, when daylight comes.

Actually, a minor correction; I accidentally set fire to an entire apartment block by way of blazing zombie, and that blaze attracted another horde, and I kinda feel like Musashi now.

I retreated back into the van to rest for a bit – the wind chill is something else here. There's an east-west wind blowing, and the streets pretty much turn into wind tunnels, and it's making my head hurt, so I think I'll just sit in the tank-car-thingy (I really need to figure out what these are called), warm up a bit, and eat this lollipooooooop :V

0410 28/04 - BEDFORD FALLS
-me <3

I keep having this one thought – this one really unpleasant thought.
I've lost count of how many of these things I've killed. Or maybe "put down" is a better term, since I heard they're already dead.

“Inhumed", maybe?

Anyway, just during these past few hours I must have... put down over a hundred of the poor bastards and stolen so much jewelry off them I could probably buy a house in Japan at this point.

I see two problems:

Problem one: will I ever be able to reintegrate into "normal" society? I can barely sleep, I keep having the most horrifying, vivid, murderous nightmares and my bedsheets are always soaked in sweat unless I take a lot of downers before bed.
Generally life is alright, especially considering the situation, but I feel like I'm slowly losing it. I keep hearing things and I'm constantly feeling paranoid about the slightest things, but when it actually comes to killing putting down these things I barely even think about it anymore.

There's no fear, just pure mechanical action.

I feel like I have to take drugs just to not overthink and spiral into anxiety.

Problem two is this: what if a cure is somehow discovered?
What if these people could have been brought back to their old selves?

I've killed over 2500 people. two fucking thousand fucking five hundred!!!!!!!
Imagine how many lives lost, how many future doctors and scientists and mothers and fathers and writers and musicians and

If they ever discover a cure – I think I'll kill myself.

I don't deserve to be alive.

Sorry, diary. That got a bit out of hand. I took another Valium and I'm feeling a little bit better. Gonna eat some pancakes and wait for sunrise.

Meds, ammo, weapons.

I recall us leaving a little bit behind in that weird criminal asylum south of here but I'm not going in without backup.
The others are in West Point at the moment, I think. It's too far for my shitty walkie-talkie and I don't wanna carry the HAM radio around.

The TV's been just static for a while now. Local cable probably went down or something – I dunno how it works.
It must be the same issue with the cell phone masts – some poor rotter broke something vital in the... control room or whatever.

Never had the chance to call anyone at the start of it all either, apparently the lines were completely overloaded, to no surprise.

Hope I can get a message off to Nat, Yuri and Moni soon.

I wanna know how they're doing.

This has to be on world news so maybe they'll know I'm here.

Fingers crossed.



I killed sixty people in under five minutes.

The only reason I feel guilty is because I feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

Is this what life is supposed to be like?



A new girl just came a-knocking on the gate! She had apparently just shaken off a couple shamblers that had been chasing her ever since her ambulance broke down.
I think she came from up north, but it can't have been as far away as Louisville?

Either way, I let her in, Poor thing was dressed like she'd come fresh off a porno shoot or something.

We let her have one of the trailers, the one furthest to the south, and then I "lent" her some of my clothes. It's been awfully chilly today, was below freezing at night.

So, the BITCH got too excited when fiddling with the shotgun on my table, and blew a hole clean through the window I'd just installed in my new bedroom.
Normally I like to think I'm a pretty kind person, but I chewed her out something fierce for that, especially considering she almost hit me with the buckshot as well.

Ah well.

We went to get her some clothes after that and arranged some furniture from my trailer since I had a spare oven and more fridges than I know what to do with.


We had a lot of fun goofing off at the clothes store, trying out different stupid outfits, and she even got some target practice in – which she honestly really needs.
Poor Jenny couldn't hit a zombie if she stuffed the barrel into it's chest and squeezed.

We managed to find a spare generator as well, the last one in that L shaped storage lot just next door. I hooked it up to her trailer just in case things start getting all TEOTWAWKI.

Fingers crossed.

She seemed exhausted, so I figured I might as well let her nap and eat pancakes while I go pry another fucking window loose. FML...

Also, it looks like I'll have to go grab that goddamn propane truck from that tangle of cars down by the interstate.
I'd prefer not walking – don't think I have a choice in the matter.

I am officially one window and three huge fridges richer, with a mean little patch of orchids or something blooming next to my trailer. I had some popcorn to celebrate.
I kind of feel like I should go back to Bedford and keep on pressing the attack. There's bound to be some kind of bounty there.

I'm running out of pages so I'll have to leave you here, buddy. Gotta bring a fresh journal to recount the horrors of war accurately and all that. :)

It's nice. Writing feels like it always clears my head a little bit.
Like everything in the world is just a bit better.

Besides, I bet my autobiography would be way more interesting than a lot of the shit I see sold as books nowadays.
<3
-Sayori

Bedford was a fucking nightmare. Just piles of corpses and shamblers everywhere. I got hurt really fucking bad. I'm fine now, I managed to bandage myself up, but Christ that city is a mess. The roads are undrivable since there's just wrecks everywhere and every single resident seems to be out on the street looking to fuck your day up.

God I fucking hate these creatures.

hate hate hate

 

I'm going up north, gonna hit up West Point, since apparently there's a locked gun store there that Arnold and Erja couldn't get into. I wonder if Arnold “got into” something else during that trip...

Ah well, I shouldn't pry. It's getting dark enough already. I finally got the MP5 working and it's got a nifty light on it, so the rotters shouldn't be an issue.




The drive's been alright so far, but fuck me if the roads aren't terrible.
Rotters wandering everywhere, congealed masses of wrecks littering the interstates and byroads like blood clots in the arteries of this undead nation.

Haha, I kinda like that. Very poetic. Almost Pynchon-esque.

The gun store was FULL. STACKED.
AKs, M16s, shotguns, another MP5... all kinds of ammo, stuff I'd never even heard about...

I packed it all into the old tank and she's full to bursting. I'm gonna take a quick look at the pharmacy next door, and then probably definitely head back.
I have so much stuff now and I'm really not looking forward to unloading all of this...

-Sayori Takahashi, suffering from success ;_;

 


-08/05/202X - a small note

 

It's been over a month now. No help from the outside world.
I overheard something on the HAM radio I set up, something about a power grid failure and a "Military Order 466" now being in effect.

I'm worried.
I'm worried as fuck.

What's going on in the rest of the world?
Will there be a home to return to when this all blows over?

If this all blows over?

I don't know.
I don't want to think about it.

Killed close to 100 zeds today using a suppressed rifle and the old siren trick.

I'm going to go donate some blood now. I've been doing that almost daily. O negative.

We're still holding out. Water's gone, power's gone, but we're still here.

-Sayori Takahashi